G.O. For Change

Changing people, places, and things one blog at a time…

Hater’s Gonna Hate

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Jealousy, in my opinion, is the feeling of unattainability (reread that). I have never been jealous of anyone, or anything, for the definition above. Are there things that I would like? Sure! But all things are attainable, but it’s really the willingness of the individual to attain it. For example, if there is a person who wants a Ferrari, or some other really expensive vehicle, but has limited finances, does that mean that they can’t get one? NO! It just means they may have to resort to doing things such as: getting MULTIPLE jobs, limiting their bills severely (eating only bread & water for a looooong time), or stealing one if necessary. The unfortunate thing about jealousy is summed up in one of my favorite quotes:

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy — in fact, they’re almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other. Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.”-Robert Heinlein

I have been a victim of jealousy/”hateration”, and it really is a disturbing thing to witness. So to help others who have been targets of jealousy to understand WHY, here are a couple things to consider:

1. Jealousy isn’t about YOU: I know that you would like to believe that the hate is about you, sorry…while you are still awesome, jealousy comes from the things that the hater DOESN’T HAVE: options, the ability to do certain things, and the willingness to get it done. A jealous individual will resent someone whose is achieving their goals/dreams/aspirations. Why is this person jealous?…because THEY HAVE NOT ACHIEVED THE SAME!  Let’s take a look at NBA superstar LeBron James (check out my blog on his“decision” here)- this man was HATED for his decision to leave Cleveland, a choice he made for himself.  Listen to what LeBron had to say to the people who wanted to see him fail:


Hmm. Think about what he said – and how he responded to it. That’s a pretty good response to the people who were jealous/hating.

2. Negativity is the hater’s weapon of choice:  Know why? Because jealousy doesn’t allow for happiness. I am 6 foot 8 inches tall – and yes, I have been hated on for being tall. Is it my fault that I am this height, and someone else is shorter? Of course not! A person’s height doesn’t make or break them. But have I been a target of jealousy? Sure. A jealous person is often negative towards themselves, as well as those around them.

3. Just because someone offers you critique, doesn’t neccessarily make them a HATER:  If you decide to go to the club, but you have on too tight clothes, hair unkempt, and look WRONG, and people are taken aback by your look, it doesn’t mean you have haters, it just means that someone verbalized what everyone else believed. Recently, I deejay’d a wedding. During the rehearsal, one of the singers had an issue with my microphone. A bridesmaid, (who had been negative throughout the entire ordeal) had an issue with the microphone as well, and said very rudely “this microphone sucks!” I responded quite defensively, informing her that this was a high quality microphone. However, she may have heard more of my anger than my words. Afterward, I went home and researched any issues with my equipment and microphone, and then realized there WAS an issue with the microphone connection. The next day, the first thing I did when I saw the singer and the rude bridesmaid was to thank them for informing me of these issue. If you are a supervisor, or head of a company and you have complaints, listen to them-they may be telling you something. As a Baltimore Ravens fan, I have had a HUGE problem with Cam Cameron, offensive coordinator, and his play calling, and have verbalized it on social media posts, or at my local bar/tavern during game time. That doesn’t make me a hater, just a concerned fan. So if you are a victim of hate, what can YOU do?

Focus on YOU!

Haters often do not confront-they hide behind other people, social media, and other issues. If you look good, and people hate, what can you do? Disfigure yourself? If you own a successful company, and someone is jealous of that, should you go bankrupt? If you have a great relationship, and people are jealous, should you immediately end it, live in your parent’s basement, and watch Law & Order marathons? All those alternatives sound ridiculous, and appeasing to haters is just that – ridiculous. The only thing you can do is remain the person you are; promoting the good, improving on areas that need it, and enjoying life.   Looking back at LeBron, what would have happened if he stayed in Cleveland? Would he have all of the accolades (MVP, NBA Champion, and Olympic Gold Medalist)? Who knows, but he made decisions on what HE wanted to do, not based upon the haters.

As always, thanks for reading,

Garry

Ps. I would say to share this with a hater you know, but we know they aren’t going to read it.

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Written by Garry O'Neal Jr.

September 26, 2012 at 4:27 pm

One Response

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  1. I really have some clarity on why I’m being looked up and down, and hear smart comments, “I think I’m all that.”wow! And all I came out for was a great time. I soon realized that it wasent me. Reading this blog confirms it all. I appreciate your time Gary! Keep them coming:)

    Bailey

    October 11, 2012 at 7:31 pm


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