G.O. For Change

Changing people, places, and things one blog at a time…

Archive for March 2013

Lessons I learned from my Son

leave a comment »

 superhero-dad

Today is my Son’s 3rd birthday.  3 years ago, I remember taking my wife to the hospital, where our doctor casually informed us that the baby would be coming today,  me going home to let the dog use the bathroom, then as my wife informed me to get back ASAP, me threatening the dog to pee,  speeding back to the hospital, the pushing and breathing, and finally, Logan popping out, looking at me for a second with a “what the hell just happened” look on his face, followed by the loudest cry I’ve ever heard in my life.

These last 3 years have been remarkable. I remember someone telling me that having children changes you. Boy, were they right! Here are some things that I learned from my son, my son has taught me:

  1. Patience (or my understanding of my lack thereof): If you are a parent, I guarantee you just nodded your head. I thought I had a pretty good grip on being patience- I work with youth all day, but this is a different level.
  2. It’s not about ME: As a professional Life Coach, I always focus on the actions of YOU- YOUR goals, YOUR actions, YOUR willingness, but my Son has taught me that it is all about him- I can’t live vicariously through him- so while I will equip him with the things necessary for him to be well-rounded, I can’t force him to be a basketball player, or a Life Coach. 
  3.  It is about ME: Wait…what? I know this contradicts the previous lesson, but the difference is how my actions affect him. My actions, beliefs, and attitude, will, whether short-term or long-term, play a part in how he views things (take a look at Erik Erickson’s stages of development for more insight) I am the first impression that he has of a man, and I work tirelessly to make sure that his father is a role model for what he aspires to be like (better than). This means that the “do as I say, not as a do” crap doesn’t work. If I want to teach him that exercise and eating healthy is great, I can’t eat cheesesteaks every day, and playing “Call of Duty 2” all day (even if I am an elite player).  Whether you believe it or not, our children become interested in what WE do
  4. Playtime is AWESOME!  Just running around, playing, making him laugh- these are the most important things I make time for. Those times when we are laughing and acting silly are times that can’t be replaced.  
  5. Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child:  Support and accountability is understood no matter the age. My son knows what his mother and I say goes. This will resonate with him as he gets older. If you ask me do I spoil my child, I couldn’t say I don’t, but my son also knows what spankings (if warranted) feel like too. Providing support and accountability is CRITICAL in the development of children. Talk to your kids, hug and kiss your kids, but if they need to be disciplined, that’s the way of life. I have seen too many children have poor attitude and behavior because their parents had a laissez-faire attitude. Chances are, you have seen them in your local grocery store, or mall, or at a 3-year old birthday party (just kidding!)

As always, thank you for reading.

Garry

P.S.  To my son Logan, when you get older (and the internet is still available), I hope you read all of my blogs. You were my inspiration. I love you.

P.P.S. Please look for a blog later in the future entitled “Lessons I learned from my Daughter”, as we are expecting our 2nd bundle of joy this summer! (Question: do I get a free gun NOW, or after she is born?)

the_perfect_fathers_day_gift___d_a_d_d_dads_against_daughters_dating_22c9f0da

Written by Garry O'Neal Jr.

March 25, 2013 at 12:12 am

%d bloggers like this: