G.O. For Change

Changing people, places, and things one blog at a time…

Posts Tagged ‘commitment

I Want to Be: A Barber

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There are many occupations that people would love to be involved with –bloggers, hairstylists, trainers, coaches, as well as a host of other dream jobs/careers/hobbies.

Here is the thing-the occupation that you may have daydreamed about CAN BE A REALITY! There are people (some you may know), that are in the fields that they have stopped dreamed about, and started making it happen. To bring home this fact, this series, “I Want To Be” will be highlighting people already IN these positions, so that 1- you see that it IS doable, and 2-learn from the tips that they have generously offered. The bottom line is, there are MILLIONS of people living the lives they have envisioned. Why can’t YOU?

Mr. Rauf Smith has been cutting hair since the age of 9. Now, Rauf is now the owner of The International, a barbershop located in the Waverly area of Northeast Baltimore. Have you desired to be a barber, or to just  the art of cutting hair? Rauf has offered the following tips:

  1. Be an apprentice/Enroll in a barber school: By being an apprentice (learning under the tutelage of a Master Barber), or by attending classes at a barber school, they will equip you with the knowledge to equip you to be a barber.
  1. Know your tools: Knowing how to effectively use guards, clippers, shears, combs, and other equipment, as well the proper way to sanitize your tools, is critical in keeping you and your clients safe.
  1. Study & Practice: Although Rauf has been cutting since he was a kid, he says his STILL studies new styles, and different techniques.

If you have ever desired to become a barber, here you go!

As always, thank you for reading.

Garry

Rauf Smith is the owner and of The International, where they believe that “EVERY MAN NEEDS A HOBBY. EVERY GENTLEMAN STAYS WELL GROOMED.” 

Location: 

3122 Greenmount Ave 

Baltimore, MD 21218

443.239.6579

 Hours of Operation

10am to 10pm Monday through Friday

8:30am to 5pm Saturday

10am to 4pm Sunday

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Dating 301: Categories

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Behold, the final installment of the dating advice I have laid out to you! Hopefully, we have survived the  gambit which was winter, and now spring should be peering around the corner. With the birds chirping, and the flowers in bloom, most people will start dating again. Before you take that leap and jump back in the dating pool, please make sure you are caught up on “Relationship 101” , “Dating 102“, and “The 3 C’s“. Trust me, after reading those, you will ensure you don’t waste your time!

 

According to weather.com, there are 5 categories of hurricanes, ranging from category 1 (minimal) (74 – 95 mph winds, damage primarily restricted to shrubbery, trees, and unanchored mobile homes; no substantial damage to other structures) to category 5 (CATASTROPHIC!) (winds  greater than 155 mph, complete failure on many roofs of residences and industrial buildings; extensive shattering of glass in windows and doors; complete buildings destroyed; small building overturned or blown away; mobile homes demolished).

 

Now, I know you are wondering what hurricanes have to do with dating. The reason they are placed in categories,, is to inform you of what you may  experience, and how you should treat them. In dating/relationships, it is also vital to place people in their proper categories,  that way, you can know what to expect, and act accordingly. There have been too many instances where people have NOT properly categorized their relationship with an individual, and disaster has occurred. Imagine if your local weatherperson told you that there was a category 1 hurricane, coming tomorrow, when really, it was a category 5! Imagine the chaos!  So, to help you avoid catastrophes in your life, below is a list of categories for you to review.  I challenge to place the people in your life in the correct categories, or problems may occur!

 

Acquaintances: here are a group of people who you may know superficially. They may be someone you just met, a colleague at work, or even a social event. Bottom line, YOU DO NOT KNOW this person. You could get to know this person, which could lead to-

 

Dating: (a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship, or as a spouse.) In this stage, you may share common interests, be attracted to each other, and are looking to see where going out may lead you. In this stage, you should be going out more, and spending more time with each other. This person may be more than an acquaintance, but at this point they are less than a friend because–

 

Friends: Friends are defined as “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection”. “Friends” has been a title tossed around too easily. Not everyone you meet is your friend. Just because you work at the same place, see them at a nightclub, praise the same deity, or even liked a similar post on social media, you are not friends. You may have a lot of “friends” on social media, but in the event of an emergency, could you call on all of them? Carefully choose whom you refer to as friend.

In reference to dating, if you are going out, and engaging in social activities with someone, for all intents and purposes, you are not friends, you are just dating. Hopefully it leads to something more serious, like being–

 

Exclusive: (defined as:restricted or limited to the person, group, or area concerned”) As a former gamer (I am married, with 2 kids, I couldn’t find the time even if I wanted), there would be one game that is partnered with one console, and only one console- which means, that a game like “God of War” would only be available for PlayStation 3—if you owned an Xbox, or another gaming console, you wouldn’t be able to play the game, outside of purchasing the PlayStation 3. When you are exclusive, there are no other game systems you can be played on. It is just you, and that person. While this is the blossoming stage of a relationship, I would highly suggest that you define what “exclusive” means between the 2 of you, and what that entails.

 

Relationship: (an emotional or other connection between people) In reference to dating, this is where you want to be. This is the last stage, before the ultimate level (marriage). Sometimes, people may confuse being in a relationship with dating. You may have feelings with someone while you are dating them, but being in a relationship with this person is more than just casually going out, it is a strong connection about that person that can bloom into a long-lasting relationship.

You should have no doubt that you are in a relationship, based upon your discussions. Do NOT assume when it comes to dating and relationships.  You may think that you are on the same page, but you may find, you are not even in the same book, get it?

 

When you add someone to a category, naturally you associate feelings and actions within that category. It is critical to place them in the correct category based upon their actions and statements. Often, people incorrectly categorize individuals; if a person you meet is just an acquaintance, it would not be fair to you, or that person to put them in any other category. A person’s placement in a category should be based upon their actions, not just statements, or the category in which you WANT them to be.

These categories are here to protect your time, effort, and feelings. They are too valuable to be wasted…right? If you are creating your own list of categories, please share.

 

As always, thanks for reading.

Garry

 

P.S. There was one category that I left out- the ole’ “Friends with benefits” category. Friends with benefits, or FWB, are commonly associated with people being sexually involved, with no attachments. Look-we are all adults, and if FWB is for you, than what consenting adults do is their business. I would highly suggest that you let your intentions known. It may be for that person, it may not—bottom line, tell them immediately, so they can decide if that is the category they want to be in. There is nothing worse than a person being robbed of making their own decisions.

Stone Soup: A Letter of Thanks

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Months ago, I was online, and saw a great idea that would help out the community. They were called “blessing bags”, and they provided essential items (soap, snacks, toiletries etc.) to our homeless brothers and sisters.  So as I did previously, I put the word out, and again, the response was awesome! We were able to not only meet our expectations of the amount of “blessing bags”, but we exceeded it! We even had other various items to donate.  Again, here I am, simply saying thank you.

When I received the donations from some of you,  I often heard, “I wish I could donate more”. This reminds me of an awesome story, titled “Stone Soup”:

There once was a traveler who came to a small village, tired and weary from his long journey. The traveler did not have anything to eat and hoped that a friendly villager would be able to feed him. He came to the first house and knocked on the door. He asked the woman who answered if she could spare just a small bit of food as he had traveled a long journey and was very hungry. The woman replied, “I’m sorry I have nothing to give you. I can barely feed my own family.”

So the traveler went to another door and asked again. The answer was the same: “I have nothing to give you.” He went from door to door and each time was turned away. Undaunted, the traveler went to the village square, took a small tin cooking pot from his bag, filled it with water, started a fire and dropped a stone in the pot.

As he boiled the water, a passing villager stopped and asked him what he was doing. The traveler replied, “I’m making stone soup. Would you like to join me?” The villager said yes, and he asked if carrots were good in stone soup. “Sure,” said the traveler. The villager went home and returned with carrots from his garden to add to the boiling water.

Soon, another curious villager came by and was invited to join them. She went home and returned with some potatoes. A young boy passed by and soon joined the group, bringing his mother and dinner plates from their home.

In time, a crowd gathered with everyone offering their own favorite ingredient: mushrooms, onions, salt, black pepper, acorn, and squash. Everyone wanted to be part of the creation. Finally, the traveler removed the stone and declared, “The stone soup is ready!” And the whole community joined in a feast where there was none before.

While it may prove difficult for one person to take on a task, when the entire community gets involved, anything is possible. Any donation, whether big or small, is a blessing. I sincerely thank you for your donations, and adding to the pot.

Amazed,

Garry O’Neal

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P.S Here is the picture of the completed bags! We donated the female blessing bags to the House of Ruth, and the men blessing bags to the Helping Up Mission, both here in Baltimore, Maryland. You can also check out my Facebook page, CommUnity Action of Baltimore for upcoming community projects!

Written by Garry O'Neal Jr.

December 13, 2013 at 10:38 am

The Three C’s

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Hopefully you have you already read “Relationships 101” and “2 Questions”, in reference to dating. As a Life Coach, I often am asked, “how do I know if the person I am dating is “into me?” If you are in the early stages of dating a person, allow me to share with you, what I refer to as the “Three C’s”.

1. Communication: Communication is the key to any successful relationship- whether it is business, personal, or even if you ordered a burger with no pickles at your favorite fast food restaurant, communication needs to be there. I know that there is stigma attached to the communication levels of a man versus a woman, but regardless of their level, they should be communicating with you, at the least on HIS/HER level. If you find that you are the only one calling, or texting, or engaging them, they may NOT be into you.

2. Commitment: It’s one thing to talk about how you feel about someone; it’s another thing to SHOW how you feel. There has to be some level of commitment if they are into you. Do you have date nights? Are you spending time together, outside of romantic interludes? Does he/she cancel outings at the last minute? What physical evidence is present that supports the idea that he/she is into you? If you don’t have any evidence, they may NOT be into you.

3. Caring: In reference to the first 2 paragraphs, a person could really forget to call because of their schedule, or they could have financial/time obligations that prevent them from spending time with you on a consistent basis- those things can happen. However, when they talk with you, are they discussing their situations, and resolutions, or do they appear to have a cavalier attitude about the situation? If they don’t seem to have any emotion about disappointing you, they may NOT be into you.

If someone doesn’t make a valiant effort to demonstrate that they want to be with you, then… CIAO! (perhaps I should have made this the 4th C).

As always, thanks for reading,

Garry

S.W.AG. (Substance Without Actually Getting it)

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The word “swag” has been the acronym for a surprisingly large amount of phrases. Here are a few: Scientific Wild Ass Guess, Sealed with A Gift (Hence the term “swag bags),Secretly We Are Gay, Silver, Wine, Art & Gold, Sold Without A Guarantee, Souvenirs, Wearables, Accessories, & Gifts, and a slew of other acronyms. Presently, “swag” is often identified as swagger, which is defined as:

“To conduct oneself in an arrogant or superciliously pompous manner; especially: to walk with an air of overbearing self-confidence

 I don’t have an issue with swag; toddlers can have swag, teenagers can have swag, heck, even your sweet dog or cat can have swag, but people often confuse swag, with confidence, which is defined as:

 “A feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances”

Look at the above definition- confidence comes from relying on your own power. In order for one to have confidence, you have to go through situations, so that you can be comfortable and ready when things arise. Swag cannot create this- you can LOOK the part, and TALK the part, but when the “rubber meets the road”, swag disappears.

The reason for the title “Substance Without Actually Getting it” allows the person who has confidence, to understand a person who has swag. There is nothing wrong with having self-confidence; in fact, a person who has gone through trials and tribulations has the RIGHT to have exude confidence (not arrogance) when presented a situation that they are enduring. Think about Michael Jordan’s game winner in the 1998 NBA Finals. When he shot this jumper, I am pretty sure that the millions of people KNEW that it was going in. That is not S.W.A.G.

Yesterday; we took our son to the mall to get a couple pairs of shoes. He loved his shoes-you should have seen him dancing around, refusing to take them off. He’s 2 years old!! When my wife playfully asked him to give her some money to pay for the shoes, he reached in his pockets, and yelled out, “Mommy I don’t have any money!!”… Swag.

As always, thanks for reading.

Garry

P.S.

Michael Jordan of the Chicago Bulls pumps his fist

Written by Garry O'Neal Jr.

October 12, 2012 at 8:40 am

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