G.O. For Change

Changing people, places, and things one blog at a time…

Posts Tagged ‘Dad


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Recently, there was a hashtag, #endfathersday that showed up days before Father’s Day, which caused a lot of controversy. Although #EndFathersDay was found to be just  a hoax, people still used it to spew a lot of hatred. My dear brothers and sisters, allow me to share my thoughts on the subject:If you are in favor of this “ideology”, I will pray for you. I can’t imagine the person who is so full of hatred and anger that they would even consider engaging an ounce of effort into this….madness. I assume you may have had unsuccessful male interactions (either from a father, or boyfriends), and for that, I can see where your suppressed anger and disappointment may manifest itself into childlike behavior, such as a hashtag, a rant, or passive aggressive behavior in your life towards males.

At the end of the day, if there were some external factors (i.e. father who was absentee, or abusive etc.)that were out of your control, I pray that you release yourself from the past. I cannot imagine the pain that you have experienced, and for that, I pray you get the help and support you need . Do NOT allow the past to hold you hostage from your present and future.

If your anger stems from poor male relationships, (i.e. boyfriends, father of your child(rens), I hope that you look at the situations, and learn from them. While it is easy to point the finger (and you may be completely valid in your judgement), I also challenge you to accept 100% responsibility for your role in the situation.Were there things that you accepted,despite your better judgement? If you saw those red flags, and choose to ignore them, then you are just as much to blame.

Bottom line, if you decided to “SHIFT” you can now rejoice in the fact that you now know what you DON’T want in relationship. I hope that you take time out, release yourself from the past, and keep optimism and joy in your heart. Allow the men who have done what they are supposed to do,to be honored and praised. You are better than that……right?


As always, thanks for reading
Signed,A Proud Dad (Garry)


A Toast to the Fathers

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Here is a toast to YOU….big guy!

                I remember when I first found out when my wife and I were having a baby; the movie we watched when it was time to look at the test results, and what I said to myself when it read “positive”; “here we go”. I remember all of the things associated with the arrival of my son, the doctor visits, the strict list of approved meals/food that could be brought into the house, the endless runs to subway for their pizza- I remember it all.  I remember how I felt as the sonogram person (I’m pretty sure she has a fancy title, but, eh.) informed us that we would be having a son, and when the doctor informed us in March that a baby would be coming, I remember saying to myself “here we go”.

Now, a year and some change later, my son is a small computer; able to process what he does not want, or want within .00032 seconds, and effectively communicate with me in the same time. I already realize my son will be better than me, simply because we are supposed to be better than our parents, for our parents put in the hard work for that TO happen. My son has already been able to use sign language at 1 (I didn’t start till I was 3). All of my decisions are now geared toward his success; all my sacrifices, all of my efforts, and achievements are designed so that he can one day say “my dad did this, so I can too”. For the fathers/dads/daddy’s out there (not the “sperm donors”, or dudes who aren’t around- I’ll get to you in a minute), realize that in a family structure, the dad is pretty much like the offensive/defensive line in football: our job is an endless, time-consuming, daunting task- we protect and assist to make sure that the QB is protected. Yes, you will be beat up from time to time, undervalued, and not appreciated at times, but  we are responsible for making sure our children grow up to be productive. As you will see tomorrow on the social media networks, people will have a lot of negative stuff to say about the males who helped in the creation of their child, from issues of not being there, or not contributing financially, it will indeed be an onslaught of harsh comments. If you fall under the category of one of ones they will be talking about, fear not fellow brethren, for this isn’t the place to bash you. Realize you can start being a part of your child’s life today- sure, there will be some issues that you may have to overcome, but you’ve heard of the adage about the journey beginning with a single step haven’t you? Of course you have. So get back to it, your kid(s) need you.

So to my peeps who have been there from day 1, tomorrow is a special occasion, sure, it’s not momentous as Mother’s Day, so don’t worry about it. Realize that your homemade cards, gifts, and the hugs from your children are the real gifts. So, tomorrow, raise your glass and give a “Mazel Tov” for the fathers out there; because we got to get back to work. Enjoy your day. We earned it.

Garry O’Neal Jr., Dad

Written by Garry O'Neal Jr.

June 18, 2011 at 8:44 pm

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